chilly cold spell has not the past, the banyan tree's branches there between the chirp of the robin.
1990 年 3 months, far Zhiming invited to the United States as a visiting scholar at Princeton University.
Looking to land in the motherland, "blue" when the dream had no thought that one day the karma will catch a disastrous BUTTERFLY he drifted to the West, he had no thought that one day dream generous Mississippi allow him to win "the right of the first drift," he dreamed had no thought that one day would make him the blue sea, blue new understanding of civilization!
mysterious blue Oh, is that you call him? He challenges you to it? Is you want a chance born into the death for him? You want him to see as the daughter of the sea as broader than the sea, sky, and then broken themselves willingly to a newer and more beautiful for life?
vast blue sea, while the quiet, rugged and gentle, deep and Fuzao, Tian Mi and bitter, tumultuous and lonely ┅ ┅ waves surging forward, rushing forward, Paoxiao with, the piles and piles of white spray Hui Wu were all thrown to the beach sediment.
face of this blue sea, far from the hearts of Victor was again shocked, he said:
"reality of life in the West, give me some shock. This shock comes from two aspects: one is the people themselves, those of us who call for democracy in the country, calls for freedom to condescending attitude, his speech on the Chinese compatriots, it seems what we are elite. But overseas, the first time I felt very strongly that those of us who own the problem is not resolved. engage in Paris, when pro-democracy movement, and made a vigorous, if a foreign government in exile in Paris ┅ ┅ out DFLP the establishment of the General Assembly, the French Government has given us that the French hall's inaugural address, the major television stations around the world to interview, very grand. The result? soon split. those of us who so noble motives in the country, to save the country country and people, but why was overseas, his mess of this look like?
This makes the issue itself, I see people, this is the first shock.
The second impact is on our dreams of the West. When exposure to this community, we suddenly found a lot of problems ┅ ┅ I found the West has its problems, there are homeless, there is crime, suicide, and moral decline, and daily life of solitude, the pressure ┅ ┅
impact of these two aspects, so I feel disappointed. On the one hand those of us who engage in pro-democracy movement, including myself disappointed, on the other hand, my dream to see the democratization of modern Western society, not so good. "
- Yuan Zhiming, "then the dream"
Yuan Zhiming staring at the sea, gazing at this sea of chaos is a vision of civilization, staring yesterday a dream to find, but once again clear that the foot of the ground subsidence ┅ ┅
traveled corners of the earth,'m tired of Drum and bell, rode the passion of whiplash has already surrendered to the sick.
Zhiming Yuan residence in Princeton is not far from the church, and always have heard the bell.
heavy clock struck midnight, and often worried lifted his melancholy ┅ ┅
a Friday night, far Zhiming invited to Princeton a small Bible, a dozen people, around a lamp, and everybody was learning, like, like Mao quotations, each holding a " Bible ", with a look of pious reading, prayer, sharing ┅ ┅
He quietly sat in a corner, saying nothing, he was reading every face of sincerity.
He walked past the boundaries of life and death, he did the ugliness of human nature, he used to see the duplicity, he has known enough intrigues, and he thought the situation had read that the attitudes of the world, but not once read that a dozen people face this page on good faith.
that night, a dozen sheets in the face of sincere, well Zhiming vaguely see a single star, with a shallow blue, floating in the life of the skull, as if a shade in the desert, as if on a dry bay springs, as if after a while Camel sand dunes, as if no man's land of the plume of smoke ┅ ┅
He is a drifter, drifters all the impulses come from the mysterious source of curiosity.
in the wilderness of life, he accidentally discovered an clean, and that glimpse into the source of the irrepressible curiosity once again to dominate his life.
Yuan Zhiming -
"to find the source of this love, I began to seriously read" Holy Bible ", a read of Jesus, I will be greatly shocked and moved. I study philosophy, especially worship of some of the great philosophers, like the Soviet Union Socrates, Plato, Kant, Hegel, Nietzsche and so on, I think their wisdom is profound, I am impressed. but I read the words of Jesus, and found this is true wisdom.'s so simple, large part of the parable, but the truth is so profound one superb. philosophers talk about truth, morality, all human wisdom, but the wisdom of Jesus is more than human wisdom, was on the care of the universe look at the things man . I had the feeling: This is not to say it, it must be God said, because people can not say such a thing. has never been a philosopher, thinker can be like Jesus say to the illiterate can understand simple pop, deep into the impressed by the great philosophers are amazing. "
- Yuan Zhiming, "loss of the earth, had the sky"
shall be one thousand songs to sing praise to God, because of the far left to the fate of Victor squandered all the passion, but only to retain his piety; shall be one thousand songs to sing praise to God, because of the far left to the fate of Victor broken all of life, conservative, but only his soul; be one thousand songs to sing praise to God, because of the far left to the fate of Victor blocked the door of all rational, but just as he opened a window of spirituality. So, when Victor was asked far: I believe do not believe in God? Are willing to become a Christian? Like it or not, when baptized, limited rationality silent, silent worldly wisdom, the proud self-silence, and only the spirit of a devout and sober stand pledged: "I do."
1991 年 4 28, far from the first anniversary of the death of his father Victor's memorial day, baptized a Christian.
He said, "A year ago I lost my earthly father, a year later, but returned to the embrace of the Father."
"was born, leaving death, his go; death, leaving forgotten that he went; left looking, leaving me that he went; me, and quietly left, the embrace of God."
Above the clouds
rainy days there have been, will be back again.
rain, perhaps he would stare a rundlet, but he was not going to lose heart in the mud, because he had God.
1991 early spring, is a quiet night, he knelt on the ground, silent for a long long time, only a naked heart to hold it in front of God
He misses his wife and daughter in Beijing, he wanted a family reunion, he prayed God to give him a promise.
quietly God gave him a number of buildings - "7", then gave a number "9."
┅┅？！
puzzled look he cast over again, when God was silent.
he did not know that answer.
91 years in July, his wife and daughter finally got a passport and visa, and in September flew to the United States.
Way to go days with
"God of the Yellow River, Rehoboth, in the fall, when rising waters that he is very great, actually a confusion between the two sides cattle. He gave way to drift downstream, and suddenly saw the sea, actually Mangranruoshi. The master of the sea North Sea if we tell him, can not talk about the sea turtle, the frog because it only knew a little site that point, can not imagine the breadth of the sea. And now, my Bo, you're finally out of the congestion of the river, saw the sea grand. you know the limitations, it entered a higher realm. "
- "Blue" Di Liuji "blue"
far Zhiming finally out of the congestion of the secular culture of the river, saw the shimmering sea of the sacred, he said, "All my thoughts are shrouded the word of God to live, I can no longer study of Kant, Sartre, etc. secular philosophy, the idea of a study they always think of God, in this case, I must Readings theology, can not study something else, of what are felt not complete, not the best, this is God's will, I could not resist. "
1992, the Yuan Zhiming decided to leave Princeton University, south to Mississippi to Jackson seminary theology.
no choice in favor of the far Zhiming, and even priests were also advised him to wait at least until they are far Zhiming only be considered after believing his wife, otherwise I am afraid will fall ┅ ┅
However, God has arranged for the trip far Zhiming and to the supreme will of the press is far Zhiming expedition.
Jackson's Reformed Theological Seminary (Reformed Theological Seminary) is the national first-class attention to spiritual life and spiritual life of the seminary. The campus was nearly deserted simple, but strict theologians can still carve theology here, the "ivory tower", that theological dogma, like the tribes of the heavy chain complex, suddenly caught in a sinking far Zhiming Yang fresh as ever -like spirit, he once again caught in confusion:
"I have the wisdom and personal philosophy to deal with more than ten years, finally had the shining spiritual, and now have to re-enter the trap it? - Are people with the wisdom of people still talk about God? "
's impatience at being tied, he once again look to the Lord. Every day, he is not a dialogue with the theologian, but a direct dialogue with God, so he once again free.
However, the cross could be so heavy! He slumped down on the ground, spread out the limbs, despairing at the ceiling - he can not stand to put him squeeze the pieces into the theological curriculum ballast, he could not bear the onerous theological struggle, and he can not stand that particular accumulation mountains of the English word, they're like termites like into his every nerve, to take him one night eating.
will test the next day, but, once he is up to sixth grade also checked a dictionary, not the words so much.
"I nailed the cross! Nail me cross!" He cries to God in despair, only to die.
Translation patting his wife shouting:
"a martial arts or to check a few more words strike!"
he was lying on the ground does not move:
"I nailed the cross! Nail me cross!"
late, and his wife had fallen asleep, he was still kneeling on the ground, in addition to firmly grasp the God, he no longer can do. Silence, his heart gradually calmed down, so, he heard God's voice whispers Micro:
"make life difficult for you, to fulfill all your gift when."
somewhere has a pair of loving hands helped him through the edge of despair, when he was willing to back V cross and follow the Lord, he knows the faithfulness of God said, "I will never leave you."
dream:
far Zhiming standing crowded, wee smoke miasma of earth, at the foot of a dense crowd, and he nervously, afraid to even move, as long as the slightest movement, many lives will be trampled to death, his troubles and fright, I do not know how to be good. Suddenly, the left front of the Atrium, shone a light blue, soft, transparent and clear, very cute, very bright, but not dazzling, never seen such a beautiful soft blue. An idea and said to him: "I can make you have such a life, but also allows you to have another life, you have to come to me."
he feel surging, excited, alert, and sitting up ┅ ┅
1993 年 10 months, far Zhiming's wife Lily baptized.
"Lily of the believer is a miracle!" Polygala confessed, "I thought even the whole world to Christ, and Lily does not believe the Gospel to her people, her half-hearted, I told her biography, She is more conflict. The only thing I can do is pray for her, I know, to save the house, only one way, that is, the whole family to the Lord. "
10 11 evening, Jackson Theological Seminary Baptist was held specifically for Lily, Lily Chinese and foreign friends do not short to the witness, she was very excited, more excited than she is far Zhiming, more grateful. He said, "we finally have a new home, new life, is always of God."
Ivy finally climbing back on the window frames, green shade in through the casement, though it is fall, there is a deep sense of Spring, this is the real taste of their marriage and love the sweet ┅ ┅
Jackson seminary environment is quiet, not Beijing that Sharon's brilliant short, there is no pro-democracy group at Princeton that vague noise, in this tranquil environment, their lives before entering a transparent, pure and serene state.
Xingyue Shudan the evening, a pale twilight, They side with her daughter in the forest walking trails, brush gently to the evening wind, brushed the dust of years, they have the beauty of life itself the "look back" of the discovery - light bar Shan Department, they found the most valuable life ┅ ┅
Lily sighed and said: "If the early to know God, how good!"
Light blue
1992 年 2 months, far Zhiming and his wife were at a prayer breakfast in Washington state.
breakfast meeting invitation reads:
history, the leaders of our country has been facing the almighty God, to seek strength and guidance.
In this spirit, of the United States Senate and the House established a national prayer breakfast in order to continuously renew and enrich our country and our own faith in God and devotion.
annual, scattered men and women in the United States and the world came to our capital, before God, confirmed that they enjoy the grace and responsibility.
led to God through the image of leaders to deepen people's spiritual life and moral qualities, fifty state governors, mayors and dignitaries, held in the states the same breakfast.
people from around the world, through Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, where the hopes of finding a friendship, which help to enhance genuine solidarity of all ethnic groups. "
Polygala said: "the breakfast meeting, my favorite is the Vice President Quayle's passage to the effect that the tyranny in world history is a phenomenon, it is the source of human spiritual, that people do not recognize limited and does not recognize that everyone has sin.
┅┅
human sin and is not limited wake, is the root of the spirit of despotism; awareness of human sin and finiteness, it is the origin of democracy.
The first time I see clearly that repent to God, much as the meaning of democracy is so strong ┅ ┅ "
- Yuan Zhiming, "God and democracy"
finally according to the blue aura of democracy through the concept of far Zhiming, Then he saw the foundation of western democracy, this saw Chinese Democracy "abortion" the root causes.
Zhiming Yuan concluded the impact of Christianity on Western political, reach this conclusion:
"1.'s Doctrine of original sin and limited, as the social contract and legal system of checks and balances established to provide the initial induction and final thoughts theoretical basis.
2. The image of God made man according to the statement, people aware of their dignity, freedom and equality, a democratic society this awareness constitutes an indispensable psychological basis.
3. God as the Almighty Lord and absolute justice, in the human mind is beyond all of the authority. When people communicate with them directly to the conscience of man on earth to get an independent evaluation of all matters of courage, strength and guidelines, then, has a transcendent talent. "
breakfast prayer meeting in the panel discussion, far Zhiming uttered a heartfelt words:
"Chinese people far from God, there is far from democracy."
1994 Thanksgiving eve, far Zhiming Master of Theology is preparing his paper, "I VS. The Bible." California's "Overseas Campus" Miscellaneous community has decided to hire him to do full-time editorial board and researchers from the Mississippi to call him "Overseas Campus" excited to report that:
"" I VS. Bible, "has written a half, these days, I day and night reversed, the more excited to write more, the more joy to write more, write more they want to praise God more!"
repeat these words I hear when friends could not help laughing, I think, read, "I" read the fear that either a genius or a fool.
six months later, when the far Zhiming the "I VS. Bible" Introduction and on the "saints" this part of the presentation to me, I did also excited to sing "Hallelujah!" (Praise the Lord! )
"Lao Zi", like a thousand years in a mysterious oriental philosophy "Goldbach conjecture", how many people a lifetime of mind, also failed to break his reading confusing, mysterious way, more Do I talk about the chapter in the book eighty-one twenty-nine chapters describe the length of a saint - which is almost "I" of an eternal mystery.
Yuan Zhiming study of philosophy than a decade, until the wisdom from the people extricate yourself, humbly knelt before God, when SG was shone into his heart, so he saw the sinking of the dust of history thousand years, the crystal shone pearl luster. So when he finalized the book named "SG."
in the introduction, there is a so far Zhiming Description:
"" I "is not simply an academic book, but a book of faith, which God of light, a spirit of prophecy, I the road, not simply of knowledge about road but superb way of life, is the integration world, combined the old and mighty way. If we have learned only to read it yourself, or just read it as a kind of knowledge, they will read it die, kill it life is unknown read, read barrier it.
┅┅
two thousand years, I like a cloud in the sky, on top of it toward God, God's light; it covered the following people, it was also the wisdom of the people standing below it, to just see it Below, see some sublime, transcendent human wisdom, but can not see it above the divine light, so people think I wander mystery, dark gray shade unrealistic. In fact, the top of this cloud, the light is always bright with light. Today, when God's light into our hearts, when our hearts sublimation, and also recognize the light, and look at the "I", it was divine glory was manifested. "I" was originally a divinity like a pearl, fell on the ground east of the loess, dust seal set, people do not recognize it, only to feel a little strange, some mysterious. Until God's light, and only God's light on it when it is valuable to show us what came.
self-evident, as long as God in the universe, hence the saying, that God is the God of all mankind, that channel must be the road the whole world. Two thousand six hundred years ago, when God through the great prophet Isaiah, in Israel, the Jewish caution, and prophesied that Jesus should be "your visit to the world", God is also the ancient land of China shed its light on: I use the other a language to express caution heaven and the earth's expectations. ┅ ┅ "
dead of night, far from standing at the window looking at the stars Zhiming, flood of thoughts, at this moment, once again poured out his heart deeply bitter - he miss the old Yellow River, Yellow River on a miss Those back-volt heavy yoke walk in the valley in the fellow. He knows that if the soul is not saved, modernization, democratization, all save them.
in a time of vespers, he's in front of the Chinese Pengdao God, he is China's tears, shed tears for the fellow, stay on that land for the relatives and friends shed tears that he shed tears for God:
"My God, you turned into a large sky light, warm crystal blue light, emitted by life, liberty and love, tenderly calling for the world. However, the buzzing, the crowd rushed mediocre Oh, but turn a blind eye and a deaf ear they simply busy living, get busy dying! "
- Yuan Zhiming, "Oh, my God"
1995 early spring.
several of us went to the mountain of prayer in California.
heavy night, far, only the really tall white cross in the thick soft and holy darkness, light emitted.
stopped car to the summit, the wind is very tight, I sat in the car waiting for leader of accommodation.
Zhiming far down from another car, wrapped in a down coat and went into the night, he was a man wandering in the wind and looked very melancholy ┅ ┅
The next morning, the sun shining, I sat in the rocks in the sun, reading the Bible. Victor stood in a far away on the grass, silently watching from afar ┅ ┅
Prayer Mountain of the pioneers - a Korean pastor and his wife came over, we are surrounded in a circle, listening to him the wonderful story of prayer mountain, far Zhiming also called over.
pastor suggested that we read a verse - "Gospel of John Chapter 16 Section 17-24," Jesus was crucified before his disciples, said: "In a little while, you will not see me, then after a little while, and ye see me, "the disciples understand, so Jesus said," I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. woman when she is sorrow, because his time is up. both students the child to not commemorate the suffering, because I like a man born into the world. you now have sorrow, but I will see you, your heart shall rejoice, and this joy no one can take away. "
Zhiming Yuan pastor suddenly asked:
"how do you think of this passage and we choose to share it?"
"I do not know. Is God one morning, I wake up, think of this passage." Priest replied
I wondered far Zhiming problem. He explained: "Last night, a mountain to pray, I am very sad. I am a man walking in the mountains, walking and tears, but I do not understand why. Prayer I asked God:
- Why am I sad?
－－┅┅
- for my own sad?
－－No！
- is the world's sad?
－－No！
- whom I'm sad that it?
- you are sad for me.
- No, I'm sad for you, how could it? You're so glory and honor of God.
－－┅┅
This morning, answered his question.
I am reminded of a story. One writer back to the mainland, Beijing, on behalf of her books Polygala Minto, in the book list below, write a sentence far Zhiming
Words: "God bless you."
She heard Polygala Mingbu Road in the United States, returned to Beijing, talking about her friends, causing H Church laugh. She pulled out a book list, the "God bless you" after the words read out, everyone is more laughter, friends do not understand how far Zhiming become such? !
When I heard this story, how I want those friends to see two pictures:
Beijing, it is sunny during the day, a group of people are as "God bless you", that is laughed tears.
United States, is the quiet night, Victor is a man far from kneeling on the ground, and weep for their souls to pray ┅ ┅
When put together these two paintings, the world will feel funny, but at least God will be broken ┅ ┅ sad
Oh dear friend, how I want to say, when the pride of Beijing, rational, passionate philosophical prince died yesterday, today, kneeling in prayer before God for you is not that far Zhiming let you worship the "elite "He is just a humble messenger, he left all worldly glory, with only a modest and forgiving heart to you approached Perhaps you worship the eyes have been replaced by pity, oh, do not, do not waste your pity, give it to people who really need mercy strike In this cold generation, compassion, humanity has become a luxury. Yuan Zhiming unnecessary, because he had a life, and, have it more abundantly; So he dared to take it out to share with you ┅ ┅
We drove to Pasadena's direction, the window is the blue sky, green grass, gulls and gray pigeons were free to fly in the bright sunlight.
We heard the car radio recording of "blue light" program:
"is a clear blue color of the sky is deep blue color of the sea,
blue is the color of the purest between heaven and earth, like a clear dream ┅ ┅
a dreamer, always a little hope for. "
Victor holding the steering wheel looked far distance, suddenly, he smiled up: Leo Tolstoy said: "In the future one day, humanity has entered a state, then write a song than the creation of a mother's lullaby as Beethoven symphony as more valuable ┅ ┅ "
resist my heart jump, as if to hear the thin Chaoyin, I know, the sea is not far off ┅ ┅ up I smile, I know, he really out of the congestion of the river, really see the sea of life, really into a higher realm ┅ ┅
control the destiny of our life the Lord, ah, you finally got away on the Mississippi River won the Victor, "the right of the first drift" - the year in the Yellow River on the dream of the "blue" creative group, only one person away Zhiming first've found blue.
Oh, Father! Your keys to life in this dream, and playing some wonderful music of - that is what you write for the descendants of the Yellow River's "Blue Danube" it? Shift from the deep passionate melodies, and from the lofty peaks fall into the silence of the valley, you let him through the dark shadow of death, make him into the eternal life of the brilliant ┅ ┅
exile in the body and mind, you broke the blue of his dreams, but returned to his life, a true blue ┅ ┅
End
blue sky, there is a Guyun,
blue sea, a piece of a boat.
It was his last poem, the dream of yesterday, yesterday's search, yesterday's life, all my Baby - the Beijing dream of the brilliant, dark dreams lost overseas, but a moment, are gone, even the imperfect memory , are buried in graves ┅ ┅
stayed only keep that piece of blue, flowing between the world Time ┅ ┅
where he melted in the blue, just like the atmosphere of a water molecule pellets, lost self, but into the Eternal ┅ ┅ he is no longer looking for, no longer wandering, he had with the seamless blue, he quiet down.
Note ①: is a difficult problem the international mathematical community, the mainland mathematician Chen Jingrun This question is to open. Step one step closer.
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